I love the sea.

It’s fine straight line against the sky.

It’s gleaning glimmer on a peaceful day.

The waves crashing

And the white shimmering fizz that gathers at the shore.

I love it all.

 

But what an ice-cold sea can give me above all else

Is a Mind freeze!

 

An overthinking mind is a curse. You lose control.

It’s like being in box, the walls closing in and you’re ricocheting

Back and forth. Up and down. Tearing your self apart.

With a fear, you will never break free and breathe again.

 

What are you going to do? Are you ever going to win?

Should I be better that this? Will the world die? Will I?

Did I upset someone today with that remark? That face?

Questions, words, phrases, memories, people, insults.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

 

What am I doing? Stop.

 

But I can’t. I’ve gone too far.

I’m done.

Stuck, in the box. In tiny pieces. Broken.

I might as well give up and let my mind run free.

 

But then I remember the sea.

Not too far away. Calling me.

The beautiful sea.

And a mind-freeze that will save me.

 

I gather my things. My mind still manic

But now I have this thought,

It interrupts the rest, punctuating the mess.

The sea. The sea. The sea.

 

It’s black today and utterly uninviting.

It stabs my feet.

The cold ice creeping up my legs

My body, immersing in the salty freeze.

Aghhhh, my shoulders, neck.

 

My mind screams. What the heck?

Get me out of this torture. Abort the mission.

I’ll stop. I promise.

I’ll stay and not run away…

 

Before the numb sets in. Pockets at first

Then bit by bit. Stunning every sense and physical feeling.

Until finally.

 

The cool, calm, luscious, beautifulness

Of a mind freeze.

 

No more thinking. No more anguish or fear.

Nothing, but the numb

And the sea and the sky and the big wide-open world.

 

And the liberating walk from the water

My mind fresh and new

Utterly exhausted with joy.

 

The relief I feel and will always remember

Calls me. Again and again

Back to the sea. To the beautiful sea.

And to me.